Panic Attacks
I’ve had them a few times in my life and in working with clients I’ve been asked tools to manage, cope, and suggestions on how to move through them. So, I should start from the beginning and help you see maybe where you are in your personal awareness because that’s what it all comes down to in the end. Personal awareness without judgment because this is not a weakness.
My first panic attack happened when my oldest started kindergarten and I had just started seeing my therapist to help me face issues with my mothers death. It was long overdue as she had died when I was 12 yr old but I was too full of anger to really face any of that. I didn’t have the tools needed to process the twisted jumbled mess of emotions so therapy was a good thing to do.
When this first panic attack happened during my son’s welcome back to school event, it was odd. Because his classroom looked nothing like mine from years ago but when I recognized a common thing that is found in all classrooms, I was consumed with nostalgia and pure fear all at once. I had to talk myself down in my head, tell myself that this room full of adults and children had done nothing to me. That I am fine. Logically I was and I needed to get the F… out of there! My husband saw my face and knew something was very wrong. I said I have no idea but I have to get out. So we just got through each activity for our son as quickly as possible and we left.
When I got home I sat in the living room and knew I needed help, so I went to Walmart and got planners and a calendar to get organized. I needed it out of my head. And that kind of helped… enough to sleep at least. I saw my therapist and said, “Hey something happened and I’m not sure what it was.” She asked me, “How was your kindergarten experience? I said, “Oh it was horrible!” And after asking more questions she helped me understand that I had experienced a panic attack because of PTSD from that time. I had gotten triggered for sure but I guess I had handled it surprisingly well. For some people, getting out of bed or going about their normal functions can be impossible. Luckily I was able to go out into the world and get resources.
My thought is… and has always been… life keeps moving so I need to find a way through it. Being stuck simply isn’t an option for me. Which I think I learned from my dad!
Fast forward about 10 yrs later… yup 10 yrs! I experienced a tiny panic attack when moving away from a toxic space to a healthy space. Why would this change cause another panic attack? Simply because my mind, body, and spirit are so used to that one bad experience even though I've worked so hard to process trauma. Each layer of healing has hard truths with it. Deep self awareness is needed to really see things for what they are and validate your true feelings. In the past I would use food to soothe. Once I noticed, I was able to slowly not give into that. I noticed this relationship with food when I was 22 and now I can see the many tricky layers that relate to food. I learned that physical activity is my friend as well.
A panic attack is emotional, not logical. Not all panic moments will be soothed by the same things. It’s important to take notice of the choices you are making, positive or negative.
Here are a few tips I’ve learned over the last 10 years through experience and from a therapist.
If you start to develop a craving for food, something that isn’t the best choice, and it comes around when you are feeling heightened emotions.. try to choose something that supports the body in a positive way.
If you're too much in your head, turn to workouts, swimming, cold plunge, sauna, and jogging, any physical activity, as those all bring you back to your body and get you out of your head.
Cold plunge isn’t for everyone and I even slowly got into it, but as I've been rewiring my brain in healing my trauma I found cold plunge to be the most effective in resetting my system and to not be stuck in fight/flight mode. In the beginning I would do 6 minutes. At minute 4 I would feel my mind release the stress. It’s fast and very effective, which I like as life keeps moving on. It doesn’t make the issues go away, it simply makes it more manageable.
Try and get bodywork done once a month to help your system reset. It's a mix of massage, stretching and energy work. Reiki, foam rolling, and a cranial cradle helps fascia release too.
Aromatherapy can also help break the cycle. My oil of choice is lemon, but you can use any citrus oil to help with anxiety or panic moments. (panic is the next level up from anxiety) Sometimes I need to literally drink lemon water to help my system relax. It’s not always enough to simply smell it in the air.
With a smaller panic attack, I craved my comfort foods, I kind of gave in to them. I got myself a kombucha, a chocolate bar that I can eat (while following food restrictions) and I also went to the studio and got through 2 rounds of my workout. Followed by the gym and swimming. The sauna was also supportive! I ended up eating the whole bar of chocolate and drank the whole bottle of kombucha without guilt. It’s simply what my body needed. I got home and made myself a high protein meal and went to bed.
I listen to my body and show myself grace and kindness. Understanding that it isn't always easy to achieve. Give yourself grace!
I hope something I've shared has helped you. Our world is structured around “suck it up and get over it” and we need a little more understanding and more positive tools. If you’ve experienced similar situations to mine, please understand you are not alone.